VW stories, tales, lies, and exaggerations

By Kenny (Psykow@aol.com)

    I was talking to Brock a few days ago about my Vanagon. I was telling him a story that he really enjoyed. Well we decided to have an article devoted to story's about our beloved Volkswagens. Practically everyone who has a VW has a story to go with it. There is nothing greater than sitting back with your buddies and bragging about your VW. For some of us teenage enthusiasts its a good way to attract the opposite sex. (just don't pull up in a Bus or Vanagon on the first date). So please enjoy the following article

    A Van packed full of suprizes.

    I bought an 85 Vanagon GL for $3000 of a new used car dealer that popped up overnight. My parents and I went and checked it out. Everything looked good so I bought it. I must admit, Buying my first car from a dealer was really cool. Everything on the van was bright, shiny, and greasy with Armor-All. I must admit it was a good buy. The following day while I was at the store I found a note on the windshield offering me $5000 for the van. I declined the generous offer and went home. The next day I drove my Vanagon to school. It was going to be a really hot day and I couldn't wait to see what my van would be like when its hot outside. School was out for the day and I was walking to the van. A bunch of people were standing around it trying to figure out what it was. One guy thought it was trashy to put VW emblems on a Toyota. After convincing everyone it was a VW. I opened the door. The smell of new car scent was really strong cause I didn't crack a window. I opened all of the windows and started on my drive home. While cruising through the middle of the desert I detected a weird stench. It smelled like a litter box. Then suddenly a dog hair flew across in front of my face. I concluded the the previous owner had a dog. I remembered the story from the salesman after I bought the van. The story was that the previous owner was an old man who had a wheelchair lift on the van. He had the rear seat removed and most of the other goodies that I need for the weekender package. So that brought to my conclusion that he was an old man who had bladder problems or his dog did.

    After pondering the thought of finding where the smell was coming from, I decided to rip out the interior and clean everything. After removing the carpet I found a nice big puddle of urine. I grabbed my hose and washed the van out. After the van had dried I decided to find where the battery was. The front seats slid forward to give me access to the compartments under them. I found the battery and $400 worth of pot stashed under the passenger seat. Due to liability reasons I got rid of the drugs. I have always heard of my friends losing bladder control after smoking pot. Maybe the old man smoked it? Only my van knows. After I had cleaned my van really good I went to a party. One of my friends suggested that we do a Vanagon stuff. There were 29 people at the party and soon they were piling into my van. In about ten minutes my van was filled with people and was almost scraping the ground I drove it around the neiborhood to see if it would even drive. Then all of the sudden everyone bailed out of my van. Apparently someone had barfed in my van. Needless to say I kicked some butts and drove home. I spent two days cleaning the van after that. I never went to another party again.

    Everyone who drove my van, loved it. It handled like a car, had the acceleration of a Beetle, and it was an automatic. One day I decided to let my Dad drive it to work for a week. During the week he told me it was getting 35 MPG. I was suprized to hear that. I used to get 10 MPG if I was lucky. The week was over and my Girlfriend and I went out for fast food. On the way home I saw smoke in the rear window. I wondered why there was so much smoke from the exhaust. I parked in a parking lot and removed one of the exhaust manifolds. I dumped a gallon of coolant on the ground. My Van had a serious head leak. I nursed it home and started to work. It still sits in my backyard waiting for the motor and other things that I'm getting for it.

    In a few months I am planning to write an article on my Vanagon so stay tuned to Brock's VW Magazine Online - VWMAGAZINE.COM. I'm planning on writing another article on my late brothers 74 Squareback. His Squareback was the first VW I ever experienced. I am also looking for this car. I have head rumors that it is the only 74 in the USA. I won't say how it got here but I want this car back. Its brown with red, orange, and yellow graphics across the rear.  Similar to what I will be doing to my Vanagon. It was severely damaged in a rear end collision so it might be in a junk yard. It was sold in Oklahoma or Kansas. If you know about this car or have any questions about it. Please E-mail me. Also if you want your VWs' story here E-mail me and tell your story. If its good, I'll post it. See you again real soon.